Mr. Cheapie's Frugal Shopping Tips
By David Leonhardt, Fri Dec 9th

Hello. Mr. Cheapie here again with three more fantasticI-can't-believe-I-didn't-think-of-that frugal shopping tips. Ialready gave you my best frugal eating tips at:http://www.thehappyguy.com/frugal-living-tip.html

Now let's move away from food, because it is to always importantto buy the sizzle, not the steak. That's the first tip. If thesteak was any good, why would Madison Avenue spend all itsefforts selling the sizzle?

Let's face it, you don't care which widget fits into thecombotubulator under the hood; you just want a sporty new set ofwheels painted in flamethrower red.

Here is how you negotiate down the price of a new vehicle. Justsay, "No engine, please. No transmission. No coolant. Nothingunder the hood, please. Nothing that doesn't shine when I polishthe car in my driveway.

You would be amazed at the astounding bargains you can negotiateon a new car with no engine. Plus, the car will weigh much less,so you will save on gas.

Next, head over to your favorite furniture superstore to buy aTV. Tip: NEVER buy a TV at an electronics store. They will tryto sell you a whole bunch of useless and expensive features. Thelast thing you need is another 962 satellite channels that neverseem to have anything on anyway.

Go straight to the wall unit section of the furniture store.They always display life-size cardboard TVs in this section.Most people leave their cardboard TVs behind when they pick uptheir wall units, so you can get yours for a song.

As a bonus, you always know what is showing on your newcardboard TV and you can save even more money by canceling thatuseless satellite or cable service.

Next, head to the office furniture section and check out thedesks. See those cardboard computers?...

Apply this principal to any electronic equipment - telephones,microwave ovens, blenders. Imagine the fortune you can save justby saying "hold the steak." If you’re a technophobe, you'll beeven happier.

But what if you really, really want the steak? Suppose you runout of ice cream, you've eaten all your foam mattresses and foodstamps, and

you are so hungry that you are willing to pay forthe steak?

The second tip is to pay for the steak with online coupons. Youdon't have to flip through flyers for coupons any more. Forinstance, I found this place that offers lots of free onlinecoupons: http://www.specialoffers.com

Coupon shopping does have its drawbacks, like the first time youtry it you will find the coupons are extremely hard to cut(unless you took my advice and bought one of those really coolcardboard computers at the furniture superstore).

But you'll get the hang of it, and before you know it you willsave even more, because you can slash your scissors budget.Plus, you won't have to clean up all the clippings fromthe floor. And think of all the trees you will save.

My third tip is to bid at online auctions. Yeah, I know, youthink auctions are only for antiques, multi-million dollarcanvasses by dead people with funny accents and celebrityunderwear.

But online is different. You can even bid on used chewinggum...which is why I advise being very careful what you bid on.For instance, I found this site:http://www.farmandfieldauctions.com/fly-fishing-gear.html

Feel free to bid on used fly-fishing-gear. I am sure you willget a great deal. But stay away from any auction for used bait.

Notice all the used hunting supplies you can buy at:http://www.farmandfieldauctions.com/hunting-supplies.html

However, you will also notice how few auctions there are forused moose meat. There is a reason for that. If aliens captureyour brain and you are compelled to bid on used moose meat,please watch for the "urgent" label.

My best advice is not to bid on used chewing gun, used fishingbait or used moose meat. These have very little sizzle, and whatsteak they have is probably not very tasty.

Happy shopping.

About the author:Mr. Cheapie is really David Leonhardt, a humor columnist:http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/positive-thinking-free-ezine.htmlRead more satire and funny stories:http://www.thehappyguy.com/humor-articles.html Buy his happinessbook: http://www.thehappyguy.com/happiness-self-help-book.htmlFind personal growth articles for reprinthttp://www.thehappyguy.com/self-actualization-articles.html